How do people find "mentors", and what exactly does this mean?

Question

I know a mentor can be anyone, but for someone who doesn't personally know any real estate investors, how would I go about finding one to advise me? I might have a deal, but I'll never know unless I can ask someone with experience. Would a paid advisor count as a mentor, or is a mentor more of a person who sticks around for a while just to help?

Nathan Gesner · Answer

A mentor can really accelerate your growth, no matter what level you're currently at. They can sharpen skills you already have, or expose you to things you've never even thought of. Unfortunately, a good mentor isn't always easy to find.Think about it. You're asking someone to spend a lot of time and energy to share what they've spent years - maybe decades - learning and developing. That's a lot to ask of a complete stranger! Why would they want to invest in you? How do they know their investment will not be wasted? What can you offer in return?You are far more likely to find a mentor through in-person networking and building relationships. The mentor will have an opportunity to know you, see your determination and will, and then decide to pour their time and energy into helping you develop. Go to NETWORK at the top of your screen and search for other investors and investment groups in your area. You can also check meetup.com or search facebook for real estate investment groups, clubs, or meetings in your area. Start building relationships and looking for someone to partner with.How to find a mentorNot every successful person will make a good mentor. Not every good mentor is a good mentor for you. Here are a few things to look for:1. They should have current experience and plenty of it2. A love for real estate investing3. A desire and ability to share their knowledge4. The ability to speak the hard truth with empathyIt doesn't matter how good a mentor is: if they don't mesh with you personally, it's going to be a disaster. That's why I stress the importance of building a relationship first. You need someone that clicks with you personally before engaging in a mentor/mentee relationship with the dedication and stress that may be involved.Where to find a mentorStart by looking within your existing network. Do you have a family member or friend that's achieved what you want to achieve? Remember, it doesn't need to be Grant Cardone! As a beginner, you can learn a lot from your uncle with a few rentals in another state or a co-worker that's on their second house hack. Make a list and start looking closely at each one to see if they are an option.If you can't find someone within your network, expand your network. This entails building personal / working relationships with people successful in the field. You could do this in the BiggerPockets forum, but it's hard to build relationships with people from other states behind a keyboard. Get out and rub elbows with local investors by joining a real estate investor group in your area. Even if you have to travel a couple hours, you have a much better chance of finding someone.How to approach a mentorOnce you've found a likely candidate, it's time to reach out and ask. Some tips:1. Have a goal. Let them know - as specifically as possible - what you are trying to achieve. If you walked up to Michael Jordan and said, "I want to be learn sports" he would walk away. If you told him you have been playing pickup games for the past year and need help improving your jump shot, now he has evidence you're motivated and a specific goal he can quickly help you work towards. Example: "I would like to build financial independence through real estate investing. I'm not sure what the right path is, but I've been reading about investing in owner-occupied, multi-family properties. I've crunched the numbers and if I could purchase three four-plexes in the next ten years, that would give me the financial independence I'm looking for."2. Make a short list of questions to ask. Even though they are the expert, you still need to ensure they are a good fit for you. This is an opportunity for you to confirm they have the expertise you need. You don't want to start a relationship to learn about storage units and then find out they only invest in single-family homes.3. Practice your pitch! How you approach the mentor demonstrates how you will approach real estate investing. If you don't do the homework, you will give them the impression you may not be up to the task of doing the homework with real estate investing. You should be able to express your goal in one minute and then expand if questions are asked. It sounds cheesy, but the best way to prepare is to work with a friend or two and role play. Think about what questions the potential mentor may ask and how you would answer. Practice these answers until they roll of the tongue. Be prepared to demonstrate what you've learned so far and how hard you will work to put their advice to work. This is a two-way interview, so have a short list of questions to ask the mentor (What books do you recommend I read to gain a better understanding? What, specifically, would you recommend my first step be? How can I help you achieve your goals in exchange for you helping me?)4. Know how to take constructive criticism. A smooth sea never produced a skilled sailor (Franklin D. Roosevelt). You will make mistakes. You won't understand something and need it beaten into your head ten times. If you feel they're being too harsh, think about their intent. Maybe they communicate differently but have good intentions. If they're not challenging you, or your personalities just don't mesh, be prepared to give them honest feedback. Let them know if they're not a good fit and you need to move on.5. Pay them back. A successful investor's time may be worth hundreds of dollars per hour. They're willing to share it with you for free, so try to find ways to pay them back. I've heard of mentees that started out cleaning up construction areas on a flip at the end of each work day or picking up supplies at Home Depot and delivering them to the job site. Some mentees will act as a bloodhound for the mentor, knocking on doors, driving for dollars, scouring the internet, making cold calls, or performing other services that help the mentor find new deals. Your mentor has needs; try to meet them and develop a mutually beneficial relationship.A mentor can be very beneficial to your growth, but it's not as simple as one post on a forum full of strangers. Put in the effort, build relationships, prove your value, and improve your odds of finding someone to help launch you on your path.

Donovan Cano · Answer

Wow, I was not expecting such a thorough and in-depth response to that question. There was a lot to unpack but I definitely won't have another question for a while. This last bit was something I really needed to hear. I need to spend more time trying to build relationships instead of hoping to find a stranger on a forum that can help me.Thank you, I really appreciate this response. This will definitely push me to the next step. I hope one day I can give this thoughtful of an answer to a newbie.

Billy Daniel · Answer

Wow @Nathan G.! Thats a fantastic write up! @Donovan Cano, everything he said is 100% correct. You can't get a much better "how to" guide than that. If you haven't been to a networking event, do it. Most of the people are incredibly helpful and love to share information. Most groups will have time just for networking and talking with people. Use that time to find an investor that is doing the same thing you want to do. Don't come out with "I'm looking for a mentor" right away. Ask to take them to lunch and pick their brain. Most likely you'll get a yes. From there just keep the relationship alive. Always try to bring value though.

Donovan Cano · Answer

@Billy Daniel Thanks for the advice! I always figured that those kinds of REI events were for people who already have experience, so I was too intimidated to even look into them. I think overcoming that fear will make this stuff so much easier.