That is, the only thing consistent about a private loan is that there is no consistency.In addition, much as it bothers some, lenders will call themselves what they want (hard money, private money, asset based, etc…) and there are no strict, legal, or "official" definitions or guidelines.Traditionally, hard money loans are based upon the value of the asset that secures them.

Cap rates are only usefull for property types where you can get reliable cap rate comps.  99% of small residential owners don't keep records accurate enough to be comparable and they would also not compute consistently the same way to have valid meaning.

Louis area, I have clients near and far who I communicate with via Skype, GoToMeeting, etc.  

Ideally, you'll want to negotiate all the salient terms of an agreement via informal communication and letters of intent, then bring your attorney in to draft the documentation. 

Let the Realtor guide you from there with title / escrow / communications with lender / inspections etc. 

I work with a network of investors across the country and also the school for investors I attend teach us different exit strategies that really don't consist of using agents and most of the investors don't use agents.

I think the pros far out weigh the cons - most of the cons have been mentioned already but I think one of the bigger cons would be in yellow letter type marketing...in Oregon you are supposed to disclose in every communication.  

And keep in mind that a "vacation" might consist of visiting a family member & helping them build a deck.

If you feel he is being unreasonable and or trying ti intimidate you stop communication with him.

I manage a restaurant and have a tenant that has consistently been paying late and has now stopped paying.