also they will charge us $100 if the police are called.  

We have 22 properties in our pipeline and the less emails and running around I have to do is worth the fee he charges! 

Now of course that could change if I were actually putting in a loan application.

Hi Tory,If you will be lending and securing the loan out of state, the law of the state where you are securing the loan would most likely apply, but I'm sure there are exceptions to this.I would think that you need to check for the laws in Massachusetts also.In California and in other states, but not all, you must be a licensed to secure loans with real estate, there are probably exceptions to this rule.If you secure loans with real estate in California with a licensed broker, the loan is exempt from usury laws, again, there are exceptions to this rule like lending less than 30k in senior position (or less than 20k in junior position) and there is something that attorneys talk about regarding charging an unconscionable rate but that would be getting way too detailed...Another important consideration is that if the proceeds of the loan are used for personal use or if the collateral will be owner occupied, then that triggers a bunch of other regulations, this is why most hard money lenders only lender for non owner occupy business purpose.

Plenty of us spent tens of thousands on college education and learned very little that will ever be practically applicable to building wealth.

We do our own PM, so I look at the difference in caliber of tenant and what I can charge and convert when considering "amenities," which I would not think of a ceiling fan as being one.

As you have already read, closing costs are similar to real estate as they are local in nature.You should be able to get pretty close if you can figure out what the % charges are for state, county, city, also if financed. 

I didn't see, but do you typically charge points and have a range for the interest rates?

They may move "up/down" in neighborhoods but their life skills are likely to remain the same.A tenant rating system(TRS) obviously can't be published so I can only see a TRS being used to vet applications and documented in your accept/deny documentation.So how / where do you see this being used?

Did you get any kind of application on these people from the Seller?