Somehow, he avoided getting bitten, broke himself out of the box and walked many miles through the desert without food or water back to civilization.

I have gone down to Fall River as well, enjoyed the food, but haven't liked it enough to spread myself out more.

I highly doubt your family will be paying for him to live that’s an absurd statement. sure, 100k isn’t what it used to be but 100k is still way more than food stamp recipients, even in 20-30 years. 

I am leaving it wide open and opening a small neighborhood pub with an investor who knows the food/bev/bar industry.

Really, as other have said the key is to get the unit clean with no open food containers, no dirty dishes, and especially no water.

Food for thought -- again this is going to be pretty subjective. 

This includes storing food in covered containers (even breakfast cereal), vacuuming the baseboards and appliances of crumbs.

Boulder is a really special market with amazing appreciation, high rentability and increasing rents, it's very recession-resistant thanks to diverse jobs (CU, NCAR, NIST, Ball Aerospace, Lockheed Martin, Oracle, Google, Microsoft, IBM, Qualcomm, Zayo etc. lots of tech and organic food startups, outdoor industry, Foundry Group, TechStars, etc.).

In the USA wealthy people do not need to be benefactors to pull someone out of situations like this.We have in place a system of welfare, where the needy can get free food, school lunches for their kids, (free housing = Section-8), free clothing, free spending money (what used to be called Obama phones = free cellular).

I'd pick up food, do the sign in sheet, send out email reminders.