I am a child and family therapist in the East Valley and I often refer some of the kids I work with to occupational therapy to help with sensory issues and regulating their physiology.I have been investing in real estate as well over the past few years.

It sounds like your friend/family member would be equally put off by someone talking about any number of things in their lives that fire them up - whether their jobs, kids, hobbies, whatever.

Smart kid!

Won't relocate even though I have kids there - but isn't that why I had to learn all these computer skills?

Hire a high school kid to do the dirty work if you're committed.Otherwise just go over top with self leveling cement and then tile or whatever fake flooring you had planned (all I know is hardwood and tile).

Why pay for lawn care for $100 per month when you can do decorative rock or other xeriscape designs and hire some neighbor kid to spray weeds once a month? 

And now you can't walk your dog or let yer kids out because the algae infestation will kill'em!  

Remember they are sales people and you are the rich California kid (whether that's true or not is besides the point).  

Kidding aside, I'd be more focused on building a long-term relationship with a few contractors than making it like Hunger Games.

I would give it to my kids to use toward their real estate investments.