I mean, none of us even drink or do drugs so that's half of the issues with young men getting into trouble right there.I know that there's some disagreement about how ready I am to get a house or plex, but for those who have recommended the plex, is that a solution to my current income problem, something which would allow me to get the loan while only making 30,000/year at the time of applying?

Another solution would be to go bigger but I'd recommend you get more formal education on how to properly run a syndication before starting. 

I think too many agents stop being concerned with how to help from an investor standpoint when they hit a comfortable groove so I come on here all the time to read up on issues and solutions from investor viewpoints, lender viewpoints, contractor viewpoints, agent viewpoints and sometimes even governing body viewpoints (usually the least fun to read but still informative all the same).

One solution is to pay your cousin "rent" in the amount of property taxes, insurance and to cover his income taxes from the "rent" you pay.  

Laminate is not worth the prices you posted.Cheap granite might be a better long term solution anyways. 

With turnkey you are essentially getting an all-in-one solution.

If so, you need to find another contractor to finish it....not going to be fun, but the probably the only solution.

If that is true, you will pick the structure or solution which gets you closer to your goal vs just maximizes the short term cash flow.

You need to now find solutions to these problems.Your problem is that you aren’t back letting go.  

Another vote for the Dave Ramsey solution.