Taking action is the best next step since you've already been listening to the podcasts and getting involved in the forums (it's also the hardest :) Since you have a good job, find out how much you can qualify for and go from there!

In this instance we have 4 parties involved.

One of the more confusing things for me with RE Investing is the math involved. 

Because you would technically be adversaries on this deal then the SEC would not be involved. 

What I would suggest you asking this group is: track record, the whole team involved, how have they set up the deal incase a downturn comes before the sale of this property, and why the debt is recourse?

In the San Francsico Bay Area 5000 square feet is a standard sized residential lot size except directly around San Francisco the lots are typically smaller than 5000 square feet.

If there is grey involved, they tend to settle.

We're talking in the $150-180k range here, around 1600-1800 thoughtfully planned square feet.  

This involves a few more moving parts, but seems to be pretty common.  

Her maternity leave pay will end soon so it’s either go back to a J.O.B. or have her more involved in the business.