How would my business benefit a realtor? 

@Jami MortonWhen I read your post above, It sounds - please correct me if I am wrong - as if you have a pile of IRA money and are out investing without much education.There is much more to navigating the tax code related to using a self directed IRA than "can't be for personal use".I hope your custodian or advisor provided you with some introductory guidance as to the rules for self directed IRA plans and/or that you have a good CPA or attorney guiding you.Flipping with a self directed IRA can be very profitable, but is an advanced strategy.All IRA transactions must be entirely at arm's length, meaning you can negotiate and make decisions, sign contracts, and handle expense and income transactions, but may not benefit in any way OR add benefit to the IRA through the provision of goods or services.  

The best reason to use a broker is if you would benefit from their professional experience.

To buy and live in yourself, you might come out ahead verses renting cause of the tax benefits/debt pay down/ appreciation over time. 

I personally want to learn about the actual rehab process, a mentor who does a lot of his own construction would be ideal.The benefit of helping me out is that I do have the money to get into real estate investing so, if i learn with you there is serious potential for a partnership soon if both of our ideas line up.

Assuming she's stating the truth, and giving her the benefit of being honest with me, what can BP forum advice?

However, there are bigger benefits to the agent than a referral fee.  

If you are in the 30% tax bracket, that is approximately a negative 25% ROI for the plan principal that you borrowed.And, you will be taxed again when you eventually withdrawal this capital from the 401k in retirement.So, the benefits of borrowing from the plan in order to fund an outside deal need to be well worth it.In my opinion, too many folks look at this as "easy money" and promote the 401k loan as a great way to get started in real estate.  

There is a foreclosure listing here locally that was previously used as a care home.It's over 3,000 sqft, has 4 bathrooms, 10 bedrooms, and can easily be converted into a huge beautiful house or Bed and Breakfast.I believe the price is so low and so far untouched (no offers) Because of its' previous use as a care home, so I'm unsure whether I can benefit from the low price on this because if no one wants it, then no one wants it.I'm curious what you guys think about this, would you ever invest in an ex-care home?

The main benefit of buying your primary home first is the first time government home buyer programs and the fact that you will get the lowest interest rates here plus the tax advantages and lower down payment etc.