I rent to tenants with pitbulls, actually right now more than half of my tenants have pitbulls, I heavily screen the tenants and in my experience usually the dogs match the owners... the dogs I have in my rentals right now are super chill friendly dogs

"-------------------------------------------------You are being utterly unrealistic, to the point of being a unicorn hunter.Remember the old stock picker's choice: High growth, High safety, and High dividends -- Choose two.

To think I'm a vampire because appreciation is a secondary consideration is utter nonsense.

Due to their strenuous working schedules, they typically get up early and are gone most of the day, only coming back to chill and sleep.

People don't realize how utterly exhausting it is to convince an owner to do the right and needed thing when it's clear as day to everyone else.

I get the chills just reading your post.Just my .02.....

You should NEVER, EVER, utter the words, "what do I do next". 

I presume it will initially just get dropped into whatever checking account I specify... my plan had always been to invest it in a couple of slightly-aggressive mutual funds and let it coast there (we don't immediately need the money for anything), but given the utter collapse in all stocks *and* bonds since beginning of year, there's no real way to select a desirable investment option at this point...So what other options are available for dealing with this situation??

I think it's a good concept, however, I don't think I just want to sit and chill for the rest of my life after being financially independent.

They chill after they see the lender is capable and fast.Side note, do you have to pay points for the loan?