You might be better served to pick 3-5 things you know you do really well and hire yourself out as someone who does just those items. 

First of all, thank you for serving our country!

And if there are extra spots available, they will be rented on a first come first serve basis for $50 a month. 

@Khaled El Dorry my first reaction when I saw your post was the type of mentorship program I joined last year but I'm not sure if that would serve you best.

I serve as the RA for some of my clients.

I told him he owes a late fee and if I don't see the money by Monday the 9th I will serve an eviction notice.

Subconsciously it's served them well in life.

Obviously, if you walk into a local bank they will tend to serve you "locally." 

@Robert WithersI think you would be better served speaking with an attorney than a CPA.

If you are prepared to get a new loan anyway, you'd be far better served purchasing subject-to provided you can live with these existing terms.If there is truly significant equity in the deal, a short-sale is likely a non-starter.