You can put 3.5% down, live in one unit, and start pocketing the cash from closing if you play the deal carefully.  

What is the correct play if I'm bidding?

I am newer to Bigger Pockets and brand new to investing. 

But, being the newbie I am, I am questioning how to know if a bank will approve a refinance.The property does not (on the surface, no inspection yet) need any serious rehab, mostly fresh paint and carpet here and there.The property is almost fully rented and would generate positive cash flow from day one.What other factors might play a part in whether I'm approved for refinancing?

In ~3-4 years I should be able to pick up a house if I wanted after I own 4-6 doors of real estate which would allow me to settle somewhere with a wife and not keep moving every two years, or option B find a wife who gets investing and likes playing real life monopoly as we move up in property class.

to me, investing in $500 houses in Detroit is all about playing the LOOOONG game. you are buying dirt, hoping that something reemerges from the ashes.

They aren't thinking about how you should reposition your rental or better your long term brand.

Let's play the math game you enjoyed since I just finished renting a property:30 minutes per interested party that actually bothers to show up x15 people: 7hr 30min15 minutes per interested party that didn't bother to show up x10 people: 2hr 30minIncome from fees: $0Lost wages: 10hr x $25/hr = $250 (I actually make FAR more than that, but trying to be fair)Let's assume that my 3 properties do this twice a year (the trend so far): -$250 x2 x3: $1,500/year lossLet's say I don't screen and I get "that guy" that I trusted to tell me how amazing he was like you claim about yourself.

Where does my agent buddy come in to play?

Are there any ways around that or am I playing with fire?