OK, It sounds terrible, though I am sure I have a way of getting them out safely (and cheaper) by just offering a few hundred dollars as cash for keys.

Then just analyze a few hundred deals!

I lost about three hundred dollars that day but what did she care , she never had to work a day in her miserable life

The Metro Detroit bordering, suburbs have a great balance of ROI 12%-18% and a few hundred dollars a door cash flow, depending on how you run your numbers. 

When you get into a retail center there can be hundreds of items to review.

Meanwhile population has been growing for decades, unemployment is low, hundreds of millions of dollars worth of infrastructure and development is going on and mortgage rates are low.

Im however many hundred hours into listening to him.

If you are an aggressive investor (and from your target returns it sounds like you are) then you can literally find hundreds of deals each month.

Here are some code excerpts:31-17-1 (M) "Primary mortgage loan" means any loan primarily for personal, family or household use that is secured by a mortgage, deed of trust or other equivalent consensual security interest on a dwelling as defined in Section 103(w) of the Truth in Lending Act or residential real estate upon which is constructed or intended to be constructed a dwelling;31-17-8(M)(4)(4) Require the borrower to pay, in addition to any periodic interest, combined fees, compensation or points of any kind to the lender and broker to arrange, originate, evaluate, maintain or service a loan secured by any encumbrance on residential property that exceed, in the aggregate, six percent of the loan amount financed, including any yield spread premium paid by the lender to the broker: Provided, That reasonable closing costs, as defined in section one hundred two, article one, chapter forty-six-a of this code, payable to unrelated third parties may not be included within this limitation: Provided, however, That no yield spread premium is permitted for any loan for which the annual percentage rate exceeds eighteen percent per year on the unpaid balance of the amount financed: Provided further, That if no yield spread premium is charged, the aggregate of fees, compensation or points can be no greater than five percent of the loan amount financed.

My basic underwriting percentages (vacancy, repairs, CapEx, management) are from analyzing hundreds and hundreds of deals.