Your strategy is buy and hold multi family homes (2-4 units) for the next 5-10 years to build cash flow to replace your present employer income.Do you: (A) put down payments on 4 - 5 different multi family homes and put a mortgage each one (B) buy one multi family home for cash, refi it out, pay off your HELOC on it and then roll into another home to continue this process or (C) have another idea?

You have nothing to gain by rolling over and playing dead, go after him. 

Can I roll some of these cost into my mortgage?

In order to partner with him he wants me to contribute 1 million to pay off the loan to be a true 50/50 partner on the land so we can develop it.I don't have 1,000,000 in cash lying around so I offered to leverage one of my income producing properties as a lien to the bank which is worth about 1 million.The goal is to roll over his 1 million dollar loan into a 5 million loan which we would share 50/50. 4 million of that would be used to develop the land.He needs my income and assets to qualify for a bigger loan, and I feel like my 1 million of income producing assets would suffice in the form of leverage.The disagreement is that he feels I am not bringing any money to the table in this scenario to make it a true 50/50 partnership.  

Keep it rolling my friend.

The added bummer was that I bought other properties during the time frame for the 1031 and had I understood the above, I would have gladly rolled that recapture amount into a new property.Another thing to consider if you are worried about the time frame to identify and find the new property is to see if your buyer will work with you to delay closing.  

I'll get this train rolling and follow in a fellow Tyler's shoes thanks again man! 

HML fees are usually any where from 1-3%, mind charges 2%, but I can roll those costs into the loan.

I would look at the amortization charts for your current loan and compare it to your new one with the costs rolled in.

Contact me and lets get the ball rolling!