I have the opportunity to move this business loan to a private loan which is a 30yr fixed at 4.375%.

(They wouldn't approve a leave but were more than happy to have me back and my boss literally told me not to pass up the opportunity but for corporate reasons would not be able to accept the leave) So question is do you think a bank would lend to me and if not what sort of deals do private lenders offer ? 

If you are finding 23% CoC then I would recalculate your numbers just to make sure and if it is still correct, run and jump at that opportunity!

Income is strong, but there is opportunity to improve upon the current rent role with a few thousand invested in a basic clean up.At the risk of sounding like a total newby... 

I have the opportunity to buy a small 1100sf house used as an office.

I see an opportunity to buy land which is relatively inexpensive in the big city markets, build something and make a fairly good profit margin (30% to 50% if not more than I put into it).

Of course won't be as many opportunities and such but there could still be ways to get into REI by investing in all 3 of those cities around you.Try it.

The Plaintiff's attorney asked that the new bidder be given an opportunity to bid on the property that I won.

The latter is the way to go if you really want to evaluate opportunities and make a sound decision. 

Is there opportunity to increase rents?