Combing through the self employed's bank statements to extrapolate personal behavioral habits is clearly  not.

I bet this first flip motivated you to do more flips. 

FHA is your best bet at 3.5% down with a multi-fam.

If anything, just tell them what number works for you (even if it's one that's lower than what they are asking for), and say you will for sure perform at that number and not play games, then I bet some of them will come back to you on deals. 

You bet!

This essentially means you need a lot higher income to qualify for properties as a primary residence while as an investment property the pro is that you get to use rental income to offset your mortgage PITIA and you ONLY have to qualify for whatevers left if the calculation results in a negative cashflow number (if its positive it actually requires zero income or it just helps your situation ).So regarding the topic of how DTI affects what you qualify for, yes DTI is the main determinant that will affect your purchasing power so carefully plan your next 5 moves like PBD patrick bet david says but in this context its the next financial strategic moves not PBD's 5 next moves.Let me know if that helps or questions that arise and someone on our team can help shed some light on this often over looked topic further.

But if they are savvy money people and they trust you (which I bet the do), then this seems very doable.

Otherwise I’d look for some like habit for humanity’s “Re-Store” where they sell donated building supplies.

This will give you a glimpse into their spending habits, major debt they pay each month and also their reserves in case something happens.References:  Ask for these but they're a waste of time; have you ever recommended a reference willing to give you a bad referral?! 

I am analyzing a deal a day right now just to try to get familiar with the process and to get in the habit.