I was wondering if anyone had any advice for someone looking for a hard money lender or a bank that'll fund my first flip with me.

My recommendation would be Arizona Bank & Trust. 

So having all this a good credit score, bank statement/funds (does paying more % down help at all?)

Even if all is well, you won't be getting much equity cause of the neighborhood so your banking on your 2% and nothing going wrong.      

Or at least cutting it down till the prinicpal portion of the payment is substantially larger than the interest portion.This is a topic often discussed on BP - search for "Velocity banking" or "pay early" to see more opinions.

If not, don’t go to a bank---- This is also wrong. 

My next multi family will be 20% down and the bank said; "I'm assuming you won't want to escrow".

If your using financing the bank requires this.

You might want to clarify if you are asking about the land value from the banks perspective or from the "business" perspective (ie if you were going to sell the project on the market). 

Should I go to the realtor (which I am friends with) and try to negotiate a better price with the bank or offer my cousin the money to sign over the deed to me and bring the balloon payment ($25k) up to date, then renovate and sell.