Repairs and CapEx should be closer to 15% combined (I understand this was just renovated a few years ago, but you're planning for averages over a long-term hold).

Added new washer and dryer.

You can't provide any service to your SDIRA - so you can't swing a hammer, pick up a paintbrush, let a contractor use your power washer, or anything like that. 

I think it’s a combination of jump in and learn things by trial and error, checking YouTube if you need help, and being around people doing it.  

That would probably be the best wait case for me but I spoke with one commercial lender before I made the purchase and he said they would do a combination approach so they would be looking at some more buildings was my understanding

Could be any combination of the above scenarios.

We each have a space for a washer and dryer in a shared basement/ storage area.

With your point made, I'd most likely have to work out either a higher than usual lease option fee, get the ok from the owner for any rehab done or a combination of both when negotiation with prospective sellers. 

He concern however was her long term tenant.

If it was her place, move into the other unit, fix it up and while you are doing that, let her know the rent will be increased.