I haven’t seen a dirty or unsafe park even in a “bad neighborhood” in 20+ years.

At $250/night (This is mostly a guess as to value of a VIP room) with 28 nights it would be 42.8 years to break even without accounting for inflation (today's dollars are worth more than tomorrow's dollars).Do you get any of the return from the room being rented out on the days other than the 28 days? 

The hard money lender told me they couldn't offer me a loan if I was living in it after (even though I explained to them I would refinance with another lender after septic system is replaced).

It's originally was going to be but it's a flip now.Hi Curtis, even if the house is not rented there are DSCR options you can to that would go off an appraiser's fair market rent analysis.

Even with a highly automated PMS I still see a need for a VA.

An even better option is WPC - WP Carey, which is a diversified REIt, they have been aggressively divesting all their office properties and will soon be a principally Retail REIT, but they are still priced low with other Office ones. 

The only way I could even think of this would be if I know I had personal feelings of bias to others.

So, if the specific lender was called out on your contract that could nullify your mortgage contingency altogether because you aren't even applying for the loan you stated on the contract.So, check the contract and read it.

You can however use a True Bank Portfolio program which only requires 15% down even up to 4 units.

And you might break even.