I spent 10 weeks doing these gaaadamn boring agent classes to bet my license, and then after some research and a LOT of complaints from investors turned agents, they regretted getting their licenses.Legal or not?

Something I did not mention in the original post was setting up a lease, my guess is that the best bet is to find a boiler plate for the state you reside and then consult with a lawyer to custom fit it to your needs?

Video walk through is your best bet.

I would put bets on it being one or more of the first three, versus the fourth. 

Now that I'm more experienced and cashflow is less important, I may take a deal that has zero cashflow and bet more on appreciation, but only after accounting for all expenses, including setting aside money for capex or vacancy.Here's a guide that describes what good cash flow looks like and how to analyze a property.https://www.biggerpockets.com/...

I just know it's a safe bet with growing population, good taxes, good schools, fair laws.

It's going to cost you, you pay to play with physical structures.

Also, can it be done without me physically in TN?

Seller didn't do you a favor in removing the physical things that are code violations.

This will likely kill your velocity to scale.It sounds like a heloc on the townhouse and then conventional at 20% without the occupancy requirement is your best bet at keeping and maintaining velocity.