I put together a spreadsheet in google docs and I am having trouble finding the right function to work as a mortgage calculator.

I understand wanting to be a good neighbor and appearing to be a functional adult and all that, but this isn't my home.

I plan to stay vigilant in keeping smoke detectors and fire extinguishers functioning and in telling others about the importance of fire safety, especially for young children.  

Only selling an investment property do you get to take installment sale gain tactic.Then again, it's a function of whether you get audited

Some reasons I haven't done it yet: 1) my existing process works great for my purpose and cash is flowing in. 2) When I semi-retire in a few years, I'd like to have the flexibility to either hand over the property management function to another company or relocate to anywhere in the world without having tp worry about paying web hosting fees. 

Reimbursements to employees are different than to owners, it becomes an accounting function and your tax election can determine how best to account for small expenses. 

In the mean time  you may bump into someone who will mentor you for free (or some form of partnership)One good place to start is the Free beginners guide under the learn tab above.

Once we work out how a potential partnership would work, we'll need to start finding deals.

The methods mentioned above can keep you out of any mortgage brokerage function.  

Years ago when I was in tax practice, it was determined that investing in a real estate limited partnership was considered "like kind" for purposes of a 1031 exchange.