I know hard money wants skin in the game.

No one I deal with or would want to deal with would I deal with if they didn't have some skin in the game.

I guess during the refinance time I was expecting to fork over 20-30% per property. if I saved all my rental income and extra from my full time, I'd be able to do that in 2 years Correct, any sort of fannie/freddie lender is going to require you to have skin in the game for each property. 

Most other flippers that buy more distressed properties pay cash from their personal funds, hELOC from other properties, or via hard money lender, but such a lender will likely want to see some flipping/rehab experience and investor/flipper "skin in the game" in the form of a hefty down payment.

Seek out someone who is and shares your vision, and screen for agents that work with expired listings since that is what you personally want to work on (note that this is a tough market and takes a thick skinned agent and not all will do this as a result). 

Get a tougher skin. 

They have more skin in the game then you do.Make sure you get clear title.

How do we know who is making these calls and where they get their info....do they have any skin in the game?

You either need to be in the market where you are investing or have a trusted 'boots on the ground' partner (who preferably has skin in the game) to be able to invest remotely.

In your case, you have a decent amount of skin you can place into the game which should satisfy most lenders.Make sure you get fully educated on the process of rehab flips and how to get your acquisitions.