I don't know this person at all, literally just met them at the wedding. 

You can literally find answers to all of your questions within the confines of this site.

I am literally surprised when a tenant moves out in 3 years. 5-12 is more common.

Saving for your first property - There are a million different tips any person may give you on this, so, here is mine: Literally keep an income statement for your household finances (this is what I do myself) and create budgets for every regular monthly expense type you incur, as well as reserve expenses that come up annually(or some other cycle).

It is literally not worth engaging with these people.

It was only a handful of properties and we had literally no idea what we were doing, but we loved it.  

Yes, when I bought it, it was literally inhabitated with drug dealers and prostitutes so there was a lot of $$$ spent on legal fees to evict.Funny you mention shootings because when I bought it, one of the hallway windows did in fact have a bullet hole.  

If it's really quiet downstairs, you can literally hear a regular conversation upstairs.

The tenants are literally becoming experts on how to sue landlords for the most minor infractions.  

I love the mortgage industry, not many people can stand it due to the complexity of its nature but if you ask my girlfriend, I literally crave the torture of working out a deal, she thinks I'm crazy!