I'm truly trying to match my existing cashflow/principal pay down with interest while reducing my repair/maintenance costs all the while giving this family a shot at home ownership.

Our DC hard money lender told me they avoid cash-out refinancing, but that my free and clear property could be used as collateral to reduce the down payment of a new loan.

If you buy properties at a discount like I do, you can use your purchase prices to significantly reduce those assessed values, thus reducing your property tax bill and increasing cashflow. 

If you are using the same partners on each property, the Series is a great option for asset protection while reducing your accounting costs. 

I would LOVE  any advice and information on investor meetings around my area, so I can continue to be proactive in my journey!

I'm trying to be proactive and have a plan in place if needed.any advice appreciated, I thought one possibility would be to hold back some amount of funds at closing (3-5k?)

They can also stay with you but reduce the space they want.

We cannot get any  new mortgages in my wife's name as she brings in no income*I've started to investigate portfolio loans (commercial loans) but they are way expensive and will cut into most net cash flow, or I'll have to put down much more thus reducing monthly ROI.   

In the end the interest rate was either too high (along with the fees) or there was a ridiculous commercial ammortization that made it impossile to cash flow or, in the case of refinancing our portfolio to pull cash out, the LTV was reduced greatly to meet their "requirements" which made the loan and time involved getting it, pointless.So, we have a portfolio of properties where around half are paid off and half are mortgaged.

It's just (most likely) going to have to be at a substantially reduced priced.