And, while I drink from the firehouse, I defintely have it in mind to simply slow down and keep learning before deploying dollars.

There's a tipping point where the houses are simply not worth the maintaining since people won't live in that area.

Simply note you are a first time home owner, want to put as little as 3-5% down, and would like the seller to cover 3% towards closing - up to 3% is allowed for owner occupied homes.I don't think you would need a property manager for a home you live in.

Simply for most folks to follow.

How has it compared to simply searching through the MLS with an agent or hunting on zillow / realtor / redfin?

There is simply too much to learn about investing, too many easy but costly mistakes to make, to consider investing halfway across the country while learning the ins and outs. 

I certainly don't want that to happen simply because I trusted they'd accommodate my demands regarding the escrow. 

If asked who filed the report, we simply respond "We have been notified by other residents in the neighborhood and are doing our best top keep you and your family in a safe place to live".

Truth is you simply can't fight gravity unless you truly have money to burn. 

It's great that you both benefitted from the situation, but I've found that if you just simply help and serve others (not just in real estate but overall in life) this creates more opportunities for yourself and others.