Any recommendations for an appraisal company in New Jersey that those mixed use would be greatly appreciated.We are receiving a very high budget and a long time frame.

Just going to use a first and a second.

My son has special medical needs, and as he grows he will need a specialized van to go on longer trips. 

There are forms of "illegal flipping" which involve selling a property on CD to someone with a large down payment and a poor ability to pay. 

Zoning for 3 and 4 units might be the same and it's not really the ground to litigation unless you're the seller and didn't know that and, as result, lost $350K on sale.

I also suggest a bug inspection and a sewer line inspection. 

In one breathe you do not want to be a sponsor or managing member but in another you are not wanting to be a passive investor in a larger syndicate.It sounds like you do not want to to work for the yield a sponsor gets but want more return than a passive investor gets as standard investing in a syndicate.Sounds like you are looking more for a joint venture arrangement.Brian Burke is out that way and a member on here and he does large multifamily syndicates.

I've been studying the stuff for a year-and-a-half and haven't done anything because I had experience time  and again of how just me with one mind makes mistakes.

I am very new to real estate and BiggerPockets but I'm very confident that this is the path I want to take for financial freedom and a fun filled less stress life! 

Personally I think this is a shady way to do business and a good way to damage a reputation.