I've read/skimmed through dozens of airbnb threads but there are just SOOO many on this site covering a wealth of topics it's hard to find all the advice I am seeking. 1) For those of you living in a property that you also rent out (either renting out extra rooms or renting out while you are temporarily away) do you attempt to deduct your utilities?

If you can't cover that expense the property isn't worth it imo

What if I write him a check to cover legal fees, call it EMD, get a copy of check to title company, and file an affidavit of equitable interest and require the EMD back if he fails to go through with the sale after probate? 

If you go with a 4 unit property the cash flow may be enough to cover your mortgage, if not have money left over at the end of the month after expenses even with an FHA 3.5% loan. 

You can't keep rent for months that you kicked them out.You could require that the walls be returned to the color and condition they were in when they vacate, and use the deposit to cover it.

Or a great property management company that covers the Compton area they can recommend?

My thoughts are to remove the shingles, tar paper, replace any rotten wood areas, then cover it up. 

To learn more about this, see the following: https://www.irs.gov/retirement-plans/2017-ira-deduction-limits-effect-of-modified-agi-on-deduction-if-you-are-covered-by-a-retirement-plan-at-work

You could simply get a personal loan or 401k loan (if possible) to cover the renovation.

RelocationsAccording to HUD 4000.1, “A Borrower may be eligible to obtain another FHA-insured Mortgage without being required to sell an existing Property covered by an FHA-insured Mortgage if the Borrower is...relocating or has relocated for an employment-related reason; and establishing or has established a new Principal Residence in an area more than 100 miles from the Borrower’s current Principal Residence.