Your best bet is to do a Monetized Installment Sale.

I'm hyper-sensitive to ensuring that all structures/operations are legal, particularly for tax purposes. 

From what I've seen, traditional financing through a small bank/credit union is probably my best bet.

It's just a safer bet than the stock market.

When we have set up LLCs outside of the realm of SDIRAs we have been able to set up the operating agreement in a way where one partner did the down payment of 20%, the other partner borrowed the remain 80%, but we are sharing all cashflow and capital gains on a 50-50 basis since the second partner is doing all of the ongoing work. 

No I don't operate like that. 

All LLC loans require an operating agreement. 

I don't want to move there because I've already set up my life, farm, and base of operations in Willits.

If you were planning on it, then I bet you should be able to find a lender that can cross collateralize.

Of course, there are exceptions, but I think that's a pretty safe bet as a general rule.