The **** I believed after a stroke.

Broad strokes, she is an MD and has high W-2 earnings, I am a stay at home dad and have very little paper income.  

You need to learn to cut in one, two strokes max.

After trying to read that I had to check a mirror to see if perhaps I had a stroke.

Different strokes for different folks. 

Used to spend some time at Lake San Antonio not too far away (remember going into Lockwood in search of 2 stroke oil one time)I think you are on the right path with the snowball effect (my wife and I used that same method to pay down and off our debt) As far as investing out of state I would highly encourage you to do your research on the area and try and find someone more familiar with the market and the nuances of the market to help you in the beginning. 

as I dont like fully levered real estate there is no exit other than stroking a check if you have to exit in a few years. 

I could just see somebody's dumb behind having a heart attack, heat stroke, or burn in that thing, then they or their family will hire an attorney to prove your sauna is 0.3 degrees hotter than the industry standard, doesn't have the correct signage, you didn't post the number to 911 inside the sauna....some sort of nonsense to make it your fault and expensive. 

This data is painting with a very broad stroke - everything is a bit more property specific and anecdotal for most of us - but it's useful to see larger trends.

I hear you – different strokes for different folks.