On the Lis Pendens for this house, there is a local real estate broker listed as a defendant alongside the homeowner.

The laptop was not insured by you and (depending on local laws) without negligence on your part (ex. pipes were properly maintained by you, but one randomly burst), your insurance company is not going to pay to fix it.

I would join a local REI or LL association, meet some folks and get the lowdown from the association.

I was hoping a local bank could help but they aren't very good at returning calls apparently to get free money from me haha. 

Like Joseph mentioned the southern/middle part of the country is great because the price points are much easier and the laws are landlord friendly.

Since you won't be local- it may be worthwhile to use a property manager.

We bought a new build in 2022, built by a local guy's LLC.

Contracts found on the internet from strangers are often dated, not in compliance with your local laws, or plain trash.

@Mark Albini Google some of the California projects I'm always seeing on the local news here, you'll see how elaborate they can be, The only ones I'm seeing get done with zoning changes are the ones that have some sort of Non-profit or charitable component.

Get to a local meetingTHIS is how you start :) Good luck