While living in the house (which i plan for at least 5 years), I can have a 10% vacancy rate w/o taping into my capex funds.The biggest hurdle for me mentally is getting to a point where I'm comfortable with my reserves. 

The only option I can think of is to somehow find a private lender to fund the purchase of the property, and then later on when you do qualify for a mortgage, you can refinance them out. 

If you're working with hard money or private lenders to rehab/flip properties, they probably do care about your experience level to a degree.

We are newbies to private lending.  

I'll send you a PM (private message) with some information for you.

My goal for the future: fix and flip / buy to rent on a private investor / JV basis. 

This depends a little bit on whether the trash is handled by the city or private contractors, and also whether the custom in that city is to keep the trash cans "hidden" when not in use (like, in the backyard, or in the garage), but: if you can't see any trash cans around the side of the house or at the corner of the garage, or in the driveway on trash day, whereas the neighbors' houses do have trash cans in those locations, maybe nobody is living there. 

I do some private lending and I use Money Lender Professional software, but its like $300 to purchase the software. 

Probably the second biggest complaint on this site is the challenges related to contractors.

Finding a contractor you trust and who does quality work is the biggest factor, but this is hard to do from afar and referrals may be your best bet.