the utility will not even tell me whose name it is in that is "private information" so i have no earthly way of knowing where they are on their bills.

They do private lending.

It's the hoop jumping with regular banks that's got,me thinking short term money with HMLs until I can find true private money.Do you think HMLs would collateralize my house?

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Bought with a private loan from my dad.

Now I am getting into private lending/joint venturing.

Another option is to find some private money, it might be harder to come across but all you have to do is ask and network with other investors.

Even a newer 90s home you should easily be under 10k unless its a private home on land. 

Might have a private airplane hanger next to that airport, FEDEX might want an office-warehouse, where is the best place for the trash trucks to be parked or a recycling firm?

Also, some of the public schools are picking up, so the families want to move into the district to avoid the private school prices we all love.