Quicken obviously chooses not to do these, for what reason I don't know?

She worked with the General Contractors to help choose finishes and control costs.

Then find a time to chat with a few of them and choose to meet with them, maybe even tour a home or two with one.

Please see the following regarding Solo 401k vs Self-directed IRA, Considerations re Investing in Real Estate & Consideratiosn re Choosing a Solo 401k provider:Solo 401k vs Self-directed IRA:A Solo 401k has several advantages as compared to a Self-Directed IRA including the following which specifically apply to your situation:Unlike a Self-directed IRA, you can have the account for the Solo 401k at a bank or brokerage that does not charge maintenance fees and where you will have checkbook control.Unlike a Self-directed IRA, if you use leverage (which must be non-recourse financing in either case) to acquire real estate with your Solo 401k the income will not be subject to Unrelated Debt Finance Income taxGeneral Considerations Re Investing Retirement Funds in Real Estate:1.

Should I just choose multifamily on the application? 

If I choose 4 unit then I can use a conventional mortgage but if I jump to 6 or 8 then it’s commercial and I may need a partner.

@Steve ProiaWhat I have learned from life experience is choose a path and stick to it.If your kid was just born you have 18 years to execute your plan.Whether you choose on or the other or both, as long as you are consistent and follow your plan without fail, in 18 years you will have something $$ there to accomplish what your goal was.

I’m seeing a lot of people in the San Diego area choose to make the long commute for more comfortable living.

A whole bunch of reasonably positive options for you to choose between.

No piece of paper is preventing that and is rarely, if ever, enforceable over your freedom to choose who you want to work with.