I have been considering for a long time investing in multi units.

I'd love to chat with someone in regard to your pricing strategy, shed / stall accommodations, time in stall vs pasture, etc.

When starting out, I think you should at least be able to get to your property several times within the first couple of years to en reasonable amousure everything is set up and functioning properly.

I don't think this is a good idea for the sole fact that you intend on selling after his passing.Once they pass (which I hope is a long time from now), those who inherit the house will benefit from the step up tax basis, meaning the net proceeds could be TAX FREE.

After operating the STR for the first year can we turn the STR into our primary residence for 2 years then sell and avoid capital gains tax and depreciation recapture instead of doing a 1031 exchange?

I took my first attempt at BRRR and bought a house (Kansas City) for 200k, which will be my new residency, so I could use less downpayment and needed a second bedroom anyway.

First thing I see is you're close to hitting the 2 years OO for a tax free sale on any gain...obviously you don't currently have any gain, but if you can wait it out then any future gains would be tax free...it gives you some wiggle room later. 

Its usually best to go the permit route when adding bathrooms ect but comes at a cost time/expense wise.

How bad an idea is building for your first investment property? 

It's all paid off but rates are high so I'm not thinking re-fi at this time.