Any costs that I can reduce?

As you can see, I'm new to this and trying to figure out how to reduce the risk to my family as much as I can before jumping in.

One way to get more comfortable with this, is to structure any excess capital that one of you brings as a loan, with a fair, but relatively low interest rate.However you decide to structure it, I would suggest hiring an attorney to reduce the agreement to writing.

I guess I'm looking how to structure things to reduce risk yet still be fair to both.2) The other question - I notice some bids are rather "loose" in their description of materials being used.

Reduce your offer by that number.

The house then went back on the market, and was reduced in price by a little under $10k. 

It sucks your energy, time and it will absolutely drain your bank account. 

They often received free or reduced housing as compensation.

There are strategies to reduce your avoid VA FF as well.This a stark difference when purchasing as a non exempt veteran is that you can get a reduced funding fee when you put 5 or 10% down.

You did not get them into the predicament they are in and buying their house is a solution to their problem, but if you don't start nudging them to go (more than asking a realtor to find them a rental), they will never, ever leave and you will have wasted time and energy on a project here that fails when you could have already closed a different deal and been in renovation.