The upstairs tenants have been complaining (even though I told both while signing their leases do not call to complain to me) that son is smoking marijuana in house, supposedly selling drugs outside of house (questionable), and playing loud music.

Find a way to make it work as a rental with a PM who isn't afraid of the dark!

If it is just slightly below market rent (for the "loyalty" factor), then your Tenant most likely already knows that he is getting a smoking deal. 

Smoke is much different.

The bathroom pictures are pretty dark - the pictures weren't taken with the lights on?

I'm a long distance real estate investor and my PM company has called, texted, e-mailed, sent out smoke signals but tenants are still refusing to answer.

It's a very dark place to go.

Those of us smart enough to use a calculator can determine that the media was just blowing smoke for their own self interests, nothing more.

When I was doing it on a larger scale we had an issue with people smoking so we included: "As a reminder, we have a strict non-smoking policy (illegal or legal) and by booking you are subject to a $500 security deposit if this rule is not followed.

Also plenty for fresh water, no smoke or fires and no hurricanes or earthquakes.