It is in the rental criteria, also in the beginning, middle and end of my description: No Pets.

It's entirely possible that the current mortgage on title includes a description of your land due to an error in the legal description but it does not actually encumber it.

Do you know anyone who would fit that description and be willing help?

Yes, we are covering the buyers agent’s commission and stated it in mls description. 

I asked both of them how much they charge (which is the same) and the realtor that flips gave us a descriptive detail on why, while the other did not (raised a red flag to me) Now they both are assuming that we are going to use them... 

Since the intent from the get go is to actually purchase as a investment property and the owner occupation is really just a manipulation of Mortgage regulations this would be a more accurate description of that intent.

- Is my description of closing anywhere close to accurate?

I have one now where a private lender recorded a DoT with a new legal description a few days before our settlement.

While Amateurish may not be a exact description you need to understand that there are a lot of people out there hoping for landlords to make grave mistakes. 

As long as your description is detailed, pictures are professional/clean, and your rental is priced fairly, you should begin to get lead calls!