you're asking for basically a conventional loan status without the hassle of getting. 30 year amorts with no skin in the game?

@Brent Coombs i pretty much net 100k a month minimum, i was wondering if some how there are lenders that would lend based off of performance for short term and charge higher origination or interest

The one important thing to look at is whether it is a conventional or reverse mortgage. 

She charged me half months rent.

Most professionals were charging $2000-$5000 to certified a 3rd bedroom and inspect the septic and the disposal area.

I have read that it is very difficult/near impossible to issue conventional mortgage at a 4.5-5% interest rate if you are incorporated, due to Fanny Mae & Freddie Mac restrictions. 

By my figures the rent amount he charges himself increases the valuation of the of the property by 35 to 40 grand.  

I charge $535 per bed room and they pay all their utilities (gas electric water).

However, it's still the closest thing to "Vegas" on the east and seems to be pivoting towards an event/vacation driven economy. iE hosting concerts, conventions, sports tournaments, amateur fights, ect.What are we missing here?

You can attempt to charge them for the storage unit rental, but wont have much luck I would assume.