The deferral is typically for 12 months and I believe this 12 month payment relief loop hole allows you not count the payment on your DTI.  

Knowing that you are doing well outside, he will start counting that into your review or bonus subconsciously.

I'm going to have to deal with the turnover, luckily I'm close to NC State and can count on a steady flow of students to live there.  

Again, each cent counts.

Equity in your home might count, retirement accounts are another source of reserve money, but since you would be penalized for taking an early withdrawal the usable amount is less.That's just my 2c, I am sure others will be able to tell you what worked for them!

Then when it came time to refinance, they said they messed up on the underwriting at the beginning and said my retirement account money doesnt count as reserves anymore, therefore I am not eligible for a refi. 

So what other passive activities are actually eligible to be counted against RE paper losses ?

Also, are you counting the rent you are paying yourself in there too?

I am currently counting down the hours until I have to clock into my Cubicle, AKA "land where dreams go to DIE".

This means what Tom said above is true for AT LEAST 6 months and I'd count on 12.