I don't have a team, so I can't outsource this to someone else and I have thousands of MBs worth of data to sift through, so I really need help.

Even my friend who bought a property using a VA loan had to have several thousand for closing costs.I personally don't want to borrow from relatives or use partners, and I'm a non-vet, plus I already have an FHA loan.

But I never spend thousands of dollars. 

You probably don't know how to price a rehab if you're  a realtor unless you have construction experienceExisting financing is important as far as what the balances are, what the payment is PITI and what kind loan it is, conventional, government-backed FHA, etc.A joint venture with the money partner might be an idea or a hard money lender might be an ideaIf it's a minor rehab I do joint ventures with the seller directly, where I'll give them a note for their equity, a vacant house, then I buy it  subject to the existing financing, and give them a note of their equity.At the time I buy it subject to there's a joint venture agreementI usually use private lender money for the rehab, and you can start going REIA meetings and asking for private lenders and also ask all your friends and family.Here's an exampleHundred thousand dollar house ARV needing 10,000 in rehabIf it's 65% of ARV minus rehab costs that's 55,000 for the sellerWhat seller in their right mind would take 55,000 for a 100k house that needs 10,000 work?

If it's a decent deal it could put a few thousand in your pocket.

Note, it will likely cost a few thousand to close (appraisal, title insurance, underwriting fees, etc).

It is locked in at a 3.25% interest rate 30 yr fixed.I know we have a few options that include 1031, selling it and getting the 250K or 500K (we are married) tax exemption, and lastly potential keeping the property and cash out refi.My question is....If we decide to keep the property and do a cash out refi we would be able to pull out a few hundred thousand.

Be patient and learn from someone that is already successful,and last but not least don't pay thousands of dollars for boot camps.

I understand that refi is part of the process, but this seems to force a refi that could conceivable come during downturn and ruin a strategy.What am I missing here?

So find a balance but until you get to the point that your buying a property a month or so.. your just like thousands of small time investors.. best agents don't have time for you frankly.