There's a standing invitation to play, but I'm clueless.)Please extol golf's virtues in the RE investing sphere, OR reassure me I'm missing nothing that's worth carving up some of my finite life for. 

I suggest networking here on BP in some of the local forums.

Reality is they'll probably never sell this property as-is for 20k, but due to my involvement I know all the details to justify that cost.I'm looking for suggestions on if this deal could even happen, would anyone fund something like this in Illinois?

I suggest open communications with the sellers and tenants NOW and come to some sort of agreement.

Any suggestions on local groups?

@Leland Smith It is nice to talk about comps but I strongly suggest you begin by looking at YouTube videos on the Uniform Mortgage Data Program.

I don't care how much you have it under contract for or how much you stand to make, I care about my own profit margins.

I'm just looking for suggestions as to getting a mortgage.

I am considering Livonia/Plymouth/Canton right now but open to suggestions!  

Most importantly, I am looking for suggestions on CU's that offer great terms and conditions in the Chicagoland area.