I live in NJ, and it has a very high cost of living and with the current rate of interest, makes it a very pricey market so to say, and not that investment real estate friendly.

I keep wondering about insurance, vacancy rates, if tenant selection is a bigger/ different factor, terms of the tenancy and differences in opex and capex? 

That's true of every market now, I suppose, with interest rates and supply problems, until either prices go down or rents go up.

With high interest rates, we'd be looking at around $3800 PITI.

Yes, discounting the rent for a person for their eyes and ears on the property is worth it's wait in gold- but make sure you choose the right person, not necessarily the person that talks the most! 

Cooper) said that the mortgage is assumable (there is path that would allow me to remove spouse from mortgage and retain the current rate), but the process can take a while, is subject to fees, and they need to reevaluate my ability to qualify for the mortgage without my spouse.

Some renovations loans out there but the rates and prepays can be painful.  

Our initial idea was to build-to-rent two 1,300 sqft homes on the additional tracts of land, but after speaking with lenders, the current interest rates made this unfeasible.

Furthermore, we have a less than 3% interest rate on our home, and we love were we live.My family and I are finally getting to a position in life where we are financially secure.

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