Focus on the big picture here and what would benefit you more. 

My plan is to use more of my VA loan benefit and try to find a duplex or up to a fourplex to buy, live in one unit and rent out the rest.

You have to call some lenders to make sure this refinance will benefit you.

Work together in a way that benefits both of you. 

There are intangible benefits to moving forward and aggressively seeking opportunities.

One of the main benefits we offer is the ability to move quickly. 

Should be about 75% rates are lowest they will be for the foreseeable futuredead equity has a terrible roiyou WILL need liquidity to grow further.If you need to pay the loan off, you'll have it.there is no benefit to leaving the cash in the house.

This would cut down on your living expenses / costs, while still giving you all the benefits of owning.Out of state investing can be a good strategy but I wouldn't recommend it for someone just starting out. 

This requires you to bring something to table, whether it be knowledge, know-how (e.g. rehabbing), or some other benefit.3.

The investments need to be done under the umbrella of the IRA, with no direct or indirect benefit to/from you - so all expenses are paid by the IRA and all income received (tax-sheltered) by the IRA.