I would be very careful in working with a 1031 Exchange Qualified Intermediary that provides ("sells"0 replacement property solutions as part of their services. 

You can always consider doing a cost seg study on a property that you buy and that can also help with tax benefits if you cannot qualify for the real estate professional status.

THEN, I plan to purchase the second home using a FHA or conventional loan (3%-5% down), for which I will likely pay the monthly cost out-of-pocket, maybe with some rental income support if it is a duplex.My concern is, I do not want to spend my savings or weigh down my debt-to-income ratio so much so that I cannot qualify for and pay the down payment and closing for the lending on the second home.Questions: - With the first home being multi-family, 75% of the rental income (or potential rental income initially) will relatively either maintain or boost my debt-to-income ratio from lenders' perspectives, right? 

Keep detailed records of repairs, improvements, and rental income, and consider working with a CPA specializing in real estate to ensure you're taking full advantage of deductions and strategies like passive losses, home office deductions, or even the Qualified Business Income deduction if applicable.Good luck!

Stop reading if you want.2) I couldn’t guess what “There is a 6 months of grace period before interest payment begins” means.3) They call their $3555 charge a “Loan Fee,” stated a few lines up as 2%. 2% of $235,000 (loan amount) is $4470.4) Do you seriously believe the loan fee, “… IS 100% REFUNDABLE IF THERE IS ANY DEFAULT FROM THEPART OF THE LENDER OR IF THE BORROWER CHOOSES TO TERMINATE THE LOAN.”5) It’s okay to pay an appraiser directly.

These properties can provide cash flow and diversification while qualifying for favorable residential loans.

If you are not planning to live in the property, then you are not going to qualify for an FHA loan.

-- when would you look for the company to refiance into/what if you dont qualify-how do you kno itll go through/not get stuck with the hardmoneyloan?

Because they know you'll probably never make a claim, or your claim won't qualify. 

Regarding the location of the Qualified Intermediary (QI), it doesn't matter whether they are based in New Jersey, Florida, or elsewhere.