Time for a divorce and to marry up to someone who knows what they are doing.However, the Fannie and Freddie guideline for a 4-unit cash out refi is 70% LTV max, so that part is correct.No need for commercial if you're good with a $490K loan amount if it appraises for $700K.And don't pay points unless you aren't going to sell or refinance again for at least 6-7 years or more.And find a new loan officer, for the love of all things holy. 

I also will look up other houses that are still sitting on the market and see why it is they aren't selling.

I assume you aren't doing it through an entity as no entity was mentioned. 

So I see what they have it listed at, but when I do my own calculations the cap rates often aren’t exactly the same as stated.

They aren't trying to keep you from lending.So where to go from here.You can attempt to borrow money from someone / bring on an equity partner but you will have to redo most of your loan docs to bring that person in.You can negotiate with the company and find the reasoning behind the dollar amount (again, I am guessing it is because of the stuff I have already addressed above).You can try to look for a new company.

It's all a best guess but hopefully some guesses are educated while others aren't. 

I won't jump into any deals that aren't going to guarantee at least 20% equity after rehab.  

You really need to check out Dave Ramsey, because you have every type of debt you possibly can and are living WAY above your means, even if you think you aren't.

If you’re fighting comps and they aren’t considered as important you’re certain to lose the fight.

Finally, make sure you aren't missing any value adds or upgrades that could bring up rents.