Points I can roll into the cost and don't mind a buy down if necessary.My primary concern is the bleed rate monthly for the build, Airbnb stabilization and the year after while we season it and prep for final financing for long term hold.

Hello, I have a primary residence and about $10k in bad debt (not including car note, student loans and a small medical bill).

Your primary issue is not what the PM is charging but the underwriting that led to this purchase.  

I used broker physical fuels...bad or new traders would treat rail cars or vessels of diesel like trading contracts/paper.

Also consider when you sell house with seller financing to owner occupied person as their primary residence you cannot balloon per Dodd Frank.  

Yes, you can get a HELOC on your primary residence.

My spouse was the primary decision-maker, and I’m unsure whether to keep my share, sell, or hire a property manager.For those who’ve faced similar situations, what worked best for you?

Once your primary liability insurance is exhausted, your 3M umbrella would kick in. 

We have HELOC money available from our primary and one of our rentals at about this same rate, so that could be a backup plan.

If there's room for a stand alone tub in the primary bathroom, install one.