But if do a BRRRR from far away that's risky too, without a really good and trustworthy team in place and lots of checks and balances (security cameras, someone local to check on your property) and the ARV and refinance aspect can be challenging.  

.* Aiming to refinance with a rate-term dropping down to about $3,500/mo, so we could live for free.

The goal is to refinance with equity after a year and then use the FHA to house hack again.

I am hoping to find a single family home that I can "BRSTRHHRR" (buy, reno, Short term rent|House Hack, refinance, repeat) by creating a separate living space in a single family home that can be STRed (this is due to local restrictions in my town that prevent STR in multifamily properties). 

do you have a lender lined up to refinance?

Once stabilized, you can refinance out of the hard money loan into something more conventional.

I also have a 3 family that I'm trying to refinance with a DSCR and I am concerned with the cash flows its in Chicago, IL. 

TIAErich  Erich - I would echo other's comments, but also point you in the direction of a Bigger Pocket book, "Estimating Rehab Costs" - It's a 2019 version, so the actual dollar amounts will need to be increased, but it can give you a good starting point for the process that you can refine/update over time. 

It was very difficult for us to find a bank to refinance the deal and also difficult for us to procure a buyer for the condos we didn't want.The cap rates typically traded higher than a simple ownership interest. 

Take a hit and refinance later?