At the very least it'd be nice to have a decorative panel that covers the side of the wall cabinet and microwave.

Then you are covered for "some" items. 

A screened in porch or covered patio probably is a worse place to start than if you were starting from scratch with a 2 bedroom with no patios

However, rents are low in my area, and wouldn't cover my current mortgage.

- I was hoping that this could allow an FHA 3.5% for her leaving plenty of equity ($92K) to buy me out and cover the down payment and fees ($30k to me, $14k down, $3k fees).

Red flags include..I want to move in early....I want to do a long term lease...I will pay you in cash....I will pay a double security deposit...I will pay multiple months in advance.....These are big reds flags that applicants will use to sweeten the deal to cover for something else..... its the carrot to lure you into the trap.

Criteria aside, I think being in a prime location, if it covers expenses and pays itself off, it's pretty good.

We tried to charge them the lowest amount by not adding labor or materials for certain repairs for example to repair poor cover-up job for holes they made in walls, we just charged partial contractor labor and not materials.

But these only cover the mechanics of investing.

If you violate any rules you will suffer the wrath of the department of real estate.