A cash buyer and a borrower will have different holding costs, a guy running his own job verse a guy hiring a GC will have different rehab costs etc... 

They told me that I should be able to do the normal 20% down, but since I don't have that amount and was planning to borrow that for a family member I would have to have that money in my account for two months before they could count that?

I did this before and unfortunately, I was dragged along for almost a year, but then again this was partially due to the borrower and his lack of due diligence (I’ll take blame too for partnering with the individual) but I like to think that the mistakes I had seen wouldn’t take place if the project was under my watch or to the very least the situation would be handled differently.The properties and deals that I generally see and come across in the South Jersey and Central Jersey areas would need a gap lender that would bring roughly 25 – 45K to the table depending on the area.

If the place is vacant, and they let you put a lockbox on the door, you can just let buyers stop in on their own.

She put us in touch and he agreed to take my property on, and we both signed a property management agreement in January 2016.I won't go into the details, but he stopped sending me rent claiming high maintenance expenses to which he coming up with excuses for why he couldn't send me the receipts for. 

Any and all of those could be health and safety issues and could stop a section one clearance, rendering the home not financeable by traditional means.

I stopped by that house today to check out a minor plumbing issue.

Water heater(also from the 80's) stopped work.

The person on title but not obligated to pay the mortgage is at an advantage relative to the other party, since they can stop the sale, rent, etc, but don't have to make any payments on it.

It's quite typical...someone trying to cajole a disengaged owner into executing a contract without an agent advocating on their behalf for their best interests, and then assigning that purchase contract to an end buyer  to get paid with minimal infusion of cash, and doing so before the clock stops ticking.