If weather is not an issue for you then you got options as the country is full of cheap places with crap weather. 

But I also enjoy taking an old piece of crap and making it nice.

Not a single one of your target customers gives a crap about you, so don't talk about what you can do.

Drive a crap car for a while til your finances are in order.

They can break and crack and when you try to repair them it just looks like crap.

I agree they look like crap.

I think I'm going to wait until I can either find a JV or I have some funding set aside for "oh crap" purposes.

Bank A could say "Oh crap, there's a freaking Bank B", and then not record its mortgage...but what would it do after this?

Bump up your profit to 20,000 and split it.Have your partner contribute to maybe getting one of those storage pods are couple of storage pods out in the front to fill with all their possessions while you do the rehab.Do the inspection and give them perhaps less money if the repairs are X and more money if the repairs are YFigure out the cost of leasing the storage pods and the labor to get all their crap in them but you can do the rehabHave your partner contribute that money

You can keep that crap.