however, some people see what they make vs a job and take the lighter route.

I suppose the pictures you posted make the damage seem worse than it may be but I struggle to see the lighter side of the damage.

Go back over the lighter areas with more seed.

Go with something with a warm tone to it, darker or lighter, but more of a true wood color than the aged grey wood look.Just my 2c.

Another small tidbit: I almost always use a darker wood laminate but there are circumstances that call for a lighter wood so I have used a bamboo which can really pop and occasionally they have on sale at a good price.

I'm thinking lighter.

Rather we want to redesign this neglected mess very carefully, for maximum appeal.The big question is do we strip all that wood (mega hours and $ in labor) and re-stain it lighter OR do we simply prime it all and paint it white???  

My thoughts: Seek bank financing with owner carrying 20-30% down payment with prefviously mentioned terms.Seek cash investor to cover 20% down payment (numbers don’t seem to be attractive enough for a cash investor to bring in that kind of cash, but I may be wrong)Flat out tell the seller I’m looking to get in lighter than 20% and see how much he would.If i’m off my rocker, I would love to hear that too.

We had to rip off ALL the window trim and replace it with wood molding so that we didn't have to repaint the ENTIRE house a lighter color!

Or stick with antique white walls, white ceiling/trim and lighter carpet?